It's official now....we are having a baby!

Due on October 19th...and baby is very healthy! Testing came back with excellent results so we can finally rest easy. Now we can just sit back and enjoy the rest of the pregnancy. And finally start preparing for a baby!! We are so excited and so happy that everyone knows our little secret. Makes it seem more real somehow...that and getting to see the 12 week u/s! That was so amazing to see the little one responding to outside stimuli...very very cool! We will be having a 4D u/s at 15 weeks to go ahead and find out the baby's gender-can't wait to know!

Update

I finally called the Doctor today and she said the spotting and cramps are totally normal after those exams and just for me to try to relax and take it easy. They told me the warning signs that do warrent a call though...so I feel MUCH better now!

Unfortunately Dh came home from being out of town very sick. Had to spend the afternoon at the doctors with him and he had a chest xray-the Dr thinks its Pneumonia. He's running a temp of 100.9 and I'm terrified for the baby since they told me Monday not to get a fever over 100.4. I sure hope I don't get sick too!!

First Ultrasound

We had the first u/s today and it went pretty well. Lots of nerves at first when all we saw was an empty sac for several minutes. But eventually we got to see the little tadpole! And boy is he/she little-u/s tech had a HARD time finding the little bean...and she was highly trained with a level 2 u/s, big monitor and had to turn the resolution all the way up!

But we got to see it-and saw the heartbeat that measured at 122 bpm!!! I think that's pretty good for 6 weeks 6 days...maybe not the best-but way better than the last pregnancy!!

After a 4 hour long doctor appt with u/s, internal exam, PAP, 9 vials of blood taken, H1N1 vaccine given, 24 hour urine test to take home and tons of brochures. We were ready to collapse.

Of course by the time we got home I had started spotting and cramping again-seems to be getting worse by the minute.

The good news is that my "morning sickness" began this week-threw up twice on Friday and 3 times on Sat. Just once Sunday and today-yay! I feel (and look) absolutely horrible...but anything for the baby!!!

Valentine's Day

We had a WONDERFUL Valentine's day today-bought new couchs on Friday and are pg! Life is so good!!!! This is our first V-day to be pg...so it feels extra special!

Trouble already

I began spotting brown and cramping today...not feeling so good about this. Plus I feel really,really good and not sick at all. That worries me too.

Whoa...was not expecting this so soon!

Yep it happened...after 8 years. We are pregnant again! Please follow me along each step of the way-as this will be a long 9 months. Many, many obstacles to avoid along the way-but maybe at the end of it a live baby. Dare I hope???


We tested tonight on a hunch-we both just "knew" it and had planned to wait a week. But I couldn't wait-told Dh I wanted to test in the morning and he said "Can't we just do it now?!" And it never occured to me to test at night before-so we did the test together and it came up positive immediatley! I was in shock-he begged me to get another test and use it (different brand) and again it came up VERY positive and really quick. So then I grabbed another even diffrent from the other 2 tests...been using these things for years and they NEVER turn positive! It was a cool "new" digital test that says either "Pregnant" or "Not Pregnant"...always wanted to use one but never wanted to read that "Not Pregnant" come up. But Immediately it said "Pregnant"!!! And at that we lost it huging, screaming, jumping up and down!!! He was more excited than I was-I was in shock after 8 years of seeing negatives every month!

The journey to parenthood has taken another turn it seems...maybe this will be the straight and narrow path we've been waiting for. Or maybe more surprises await...but atleast things seem to get exciting every few years or so and heads a new way!

Hmmm...feeling kinda weird lately

I'm not sure what's up but I'm feeling "off". Wondering if I might be pregnant-doubt it. But I just wonder....had dinner with family tonight leaving for China to get their little girl and I had a hard time eating. And nothing tasted right. But I was overly emotional from saying goodbye to them and giving them gifts for there very first child that we have all loved for years now. Knowing that they will get to meet her in another week was just almost too much!

Our adoption is still years away and so I'm really loving getting to fully focus on them and their trip and their daughter! They will make the BEST parents and I can't wait to meet that special little girl added to our family!!!

Just makes my heart melt thinking of it all!!! I'll maybe take a pregnancy test in a week or two if my cycle doesn't happen by then.

Merry-Go-Round

There is a little park downtown that I used to go to. Years ago, I would take my lunch breaks and go there to get away from the work day. I loved seeing the Mom's out pushing their kids in swings and the healthier Mom's pushing strollers while they jogged miles away. It made me feel good to see how happy those little kids were-just to be outside and getting to run and play! I knew that someday I wanted to be one of those Moms...preferably the playing type-not the jogging type. But I felt secure knowing that someday in the future-that would be me and my child there.

Then after eating my lunch-my eyes always drifted over to the metal Merry-Go-Round with it's faint colors from years of exposure. It creaked and turned slowly in the wind-but no children played on it. It was empty and longing for just one child to someday make happy...I knew how it felt because that was what I wanted too. And on occasion, a couple of teenagers would run by and jump on it and spin it really fast. But only to make the other one very dizzy and then they were off and running again-leaving the poor Merry-Go-Round slowing down on it's own and all alone again. Still whirling from the sudden experience.

I knew how it felt. Since many teenagers were having babies with no trouble all around me...laughing at my plight it seemed. Maybe letting me hold or care for their little ones, but then leaving me all alone with Empty Arms Again. And not caring what it did to me emotionally.

My husband and I have been married for 10 years. Happily...except for being childless. We began trying for a baby back in 2001. I am infertile-but with the help of Clomid, we did get pregnant in 2002. I developed Diabetes shortly after and also had an undiagnosed blood clotting disorder. This led to the death of the baby we so longed for. And left our hearts and arms empty for another child.

We've tried again over the years and have never been pregnant since then. In 2005, we had an idea that worked for us. There were many children who were already born and needed parents. And we needed a child...so ADOPTING sounded like the answer to both our prayers! Unfortunately-we learned that adopting is not an easy process. And that the average adoption took 5-7 years! It was heartbreaking-we couldn't even adopt a child in a reasonable timeframe! That and we did not want a court to mandate that we "share" our child with the birthparents. Sending letters and pictures monthly till age 18 was okay-but visitation rights seemed way too much to us! My husband was adopted himself...I took his advice on what seemed appropriate since he personally had been through it all.

With much research and soul-searching we decided to go to China to adopt a child. Why China you ask? Because they had boys and girls available at young ages. China had a steady process of 10 years of adoptions-where most countries were in it's infancy and proper procedures were not always taken. The children were healthy. It was less expensive than other countries. No birthparents could suddenly decide they wanted the baby back and be ripped from our arms. And lastly the whole process took 9months total!!

9 months to a baby?? The only way that happened was if you either got pregnant or a surrogate got pregant for you! We were THRILLED to say the least! It was exactly what we were looking for!

So in 2005-we began our adoption...you can read about that on Victoria's Website by clicking on that link to the right. Unfortunately things changed A LOT since we began our China adoption...we have completed all steps...just waiting in a VERY long line of people to get our baby. A line roughly 20,000 people long!! Due to this-it is looking we will finally go to China in mid 2012. No kidding.

And so we are back trying to conceive a baby we so deseperately want. Somehow-we always get stuck with nothing but empty arms no matter which road we take! Maybe our baby is just around the corner...we just don't know it yet!